Here I Come and There I Go
It's time to get rid of the unnecessary negatives I have surrounding me...those people who either intentionally or unintentionally bring me down. We all have them, but why is it that we keep them around for so long? Is it the challenge...maybe when we're around them we are forced to think about our defenses. My defenses are up and have been for a while now. I'm starting to like them...because defending yourself demands self-respect. I used to let people "walk all over me". I'd avoid conflict to any degree. Now I thrive on it- it's validating. It's not a loud kind of defense, but the tune in my head changes now when people disappoint me and it's impowering. It's funny too, because it's like I go into auto pilot, but as this person who has it figured out...a person I'm not terribly familiar with yet, but I like her and I want her around...I don't think- I just walk away.
So here's to walking away and not needing them...
I like it when you make me angry. I like it when you hurt me. I like it when you lie to me. I like it when I catch you. I like it when you let me down. I like it when you manipulate me. I like it when you use me. I like it when you put me down. I like it when you forget. I like falling asleep last. I like it when your eyes say something different then your mouth. I like hearing it from other people. I like being exhausted. I hate giving up.
I like you, but I love me. I like fighting, but I love walking away.
So here's to walking away... not needing them, but needing myself.
Here I come and there I go.