So, now it's been a while. Why am I thinking about you again...you keep coming back to me in waves, but not waves of tears, but waves of silence. The moments I remember now are the moments that made me stay. I miss you. I miss having you in my life. I want your presence. I want to hold you. I want you to hold me. I want to close my eyes and suddenly be beside you on those nights, those mornings. Nothing needs to be said. Please visit me tonight... I want to feel you here. I want you to be with me again. I feel sadness in a new way, a quiet way. It's humbling me along. I cleaned my entire room out this afternoon. I dusted you out of my reality, but you stay with me in my dreams, my fiction. How do I lose that part of myself without falling apart completely? I thought it was finished. I have to stop looking at this closed door. And I just realized that you became a want instead of a need. I said I want. That's what I said more than once. I need to open a window and get some fresh air.